When you hear the word “adulting” its pessimistic tone is clear and borderline burdening for us millennials. It’s usually accompanied by the word “struggles” and exhibits everyday trials we can’t escape.
News-flash: This thing we call “adulting” is also called “life.”
News-flash-flash: It doesn’t have to suck.
Shower – er – Grocery Store Thoughts
The grocery store for me is oddly enough my place of self-revelation. Some people unearth their deepest, most profound thoughts in the shower, I catch mine at the grocery store (to-may-toe, to-mah-toe?)
While strolling through my new go-to supermarket in Austin the other day, I had an abrupt feeling of overwhelm. Not in the this-is-too-much-what-am-I-doing-with-my-life kind of way, but in the look-how-far-I’ve-come-this-is-awesome way. Why? Because I get to choose exactly how I want to eat and the food I want to buy down to the brand and the bundle of bananas I pick off the shelf.
Growing up, I remember walking through the grocery store thinking how much differently I would be shopping if it were up to me. Out of respect for my single mother, I could not and would not voice my opinion on the not-so-healthy snacks and the variety of artificial flavors being put into the cart.
This may not seem like a super profound moment to you, but being the health nut in my family, that present moment in the grocery store as I fill my cart with organic veggies and brands I one day dreamed of buying, is admittedly and remarkably fulfilling.
Make the Choice to Take the Chance
The feelings that arose from my grocery store experience doesn’t just apply to shopping for what I want; it’s also having the freedom to choose where and how often I want to work out, when and if I want a furry companion, how I want my apartment decorated, where I want to live – literally everything.
Okay, so you may be thinking “That’s cool and all J, but some of us don’t get that kind of luxury.” What I think you mean, is that you didn’t make choices in your life to have what you see as a luxury.
Whenever I make a big, positive decision or when I’m traveling to a beautiful destination, people often say variants of phrases like “I want your life” or “I’m so jealous” or my all-time favorite, “You’re so lucky.” Honey, this has nothing to do with luck.
Let me remind you that I’ve made every single decision that landed me in these positions. And frankly, most of these choices are pretty damn ballsy. I made the choice to break off a relationship even if that meant living in a state where I didn’t know anyone. I made the choice to leave my job because I was miserable. I made the choice to invest most (okay all) my money into travel. I made the choice to break my lease and move for a badass job. I made the choice to live in my dream city that’s more expensive, even if that means sacrificing my luxury apartment. And I made the choice to buy that damn organic avocado.
Take Responsibility for Your Results
A recent quote I derived from a book says this: “What happened to you is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.” I truly believe accountability is something that fiercely lacks in our day and age. Chances are, no one put you in the position you’re in but yourself.
I’ve had plenty of bad things happen to me, guys. Plenty. But I know that my reaction to these events, is my responsibility. I refuse to play victim from the circumstances I have or have not created. I’m not going to let the shitty things that have happened stop me from getting where I want to be. If anything, I take these less-than-fortunate events and turn them into motivation. Is it easy? Hell no. But why would I sit there asking “Why me, why me?” when I could be actively implementing the life I want to live.
Win in Your Mind, Win in Reality
I wish I could tell you the secret to living your best life, but let’s get real – I can’t, nor can anyone else. I love where my choices have taken me, but I don’t want to give you a false representation of my life either. I still have typical trials and tribulations of everyday life, as does literally everyone in the entire world. I regularly feel defeated, anxious and resentful. Frankly, I’d be worried if I didn’t feel these emotions, as you should too.
I do encourage you though to start by taking accountability of your adult life, and second, take a look at the luxuries we adults take for granted on the daily: no curfew, um, alcohol, the ability to make your own decisions, and unlimited access to organic avocados.